When your flake tells you a funny joke

Me to my mates after 1 double gin :

do u ever think back to the way u reacted to something & think why tf did I let someone get away with that

Being lied to or cheated on really does change the way you view everything, someone could have the purest intentions and I’ll still never be able to see it without having doubts

I’m going to give away $10,000 to 3 random people who retweet this tweet AND follows me! (If you don’t follow me, can’t DM you the money) Much love 💗

£200 fine for more than 6 in your house, 40 people party, £5 deposit on the door if you get caught, get it back if you don’t

The sexual tension between me and a boob job

Don’t care what anyone says you can’t cheat on someone you love. Cheating ain’t a ‘mistake’ it’s a choice and it comes with consequences

“But we move” has been the answer to every bad situation just lately

if U ever had to open up the notes app gon ahead n block him

if u think a size 10 is big you really need a fucking reality check

Pure mad dafty left yer pure mad phone in the pure mad taxi 😂😂

if you’ve ever drunk from the middle cup in ring of fire, you don’t need to worry about what’s in the vaccine

21. a canny see