Fate already written I just be readin

Needing to expand my plane seatbelt from the person before me feels max fatty

My only "crime" is being ahead of time.

Red 40 >>>

In my Justin Timberlake era for better or worse

Hello world

Coworkers tryina kill my silly

Trying to turn edits on the train with Amtrak wifi feels like the 5th circle of hell

Fellas is it gay to listen to looped polyrhythms

In a fantasy football league with my coworkers so naturally I only check on my players during company time

Cat turd is stinky

Boo boo on my pinky finger boo boo on my pinky toe. Pinkys ow.

Stop telling me to download apps and update them

This was not the tweet I wanted to tweet but here I am tweeting it

Why did Home Depot ask me if I want a receipt this is 2026

Feeling swagless

Have I been living under a rock is there a Olympics happening soon or what’s up

Spiders love a nook and cranny

It’s hard to accept that a singular bus tire has more strength than me.

Just said a joke so funny that Clause replied with LMAOOO