Hey ⁦The New York Times⁩ I fixed last night’s breaking news for you. #thisiswhatprivilegelooklike #dobetter

The #bostonuniversity love is strong no matter how long it’s been. Thanks Collin S for tuning in.

Checking on Twitter to see if it’s still a dumpster fire of information. It is. Going back to ignoring it now.

This happens way too often in meetings.

My life in emoticons 🐶🐕🍼☕🍼🍼🍷🍺🍼🐶🐕😴 #parentingishard #momlife #newmom

Sometimes I write things I've already done on my checklist just to check them off. #bitchesgetshitdone

Wow, I thought Target had my number before. Now that I'm a parent, it's a whole new level. #burblife #couponsfordays

Mad props to the high schoolers who dressed up and collected cans for the food bank instead of candy #nevertoooldtotrickortreat #halloween

To every woman who competed on substance and lost to a louder, flashier white male, I feel you. StillWithHer

Totes. x.com/mradamscott/st…

Amazing. I need to watch this show more. x.com/TheDailyShow/s…

Ladies, when are we going to get real and just call yoga pants "pants." #wednesdaywisdom

I had no idea how much parenting involves convincing your child he actually doesn't want snot hanging out of his nose. #thestruggleisreal

Tomorrow I'll skip the middle man and just ask my dogs what I should cook my toddler for dinner. #floorfood #blessthismess #not

Motherhood has really changed me. Now I make mac n' cheese with whole milk. #humblebrag

That person who started off with "No offense but..." said something so nice and helpful. - No one ever.

Talk to toddler like a dog/talk to dog like a toddler. And no one listens anyway. #circleoflife

Our toddler has once again cured our temporary amnesia reminding us why we don’t go to restaurants. #HappyFriday

After a week at home with my toddler, I have to say I’m really concerned that Daniel Tiger’s Dad’s job at the clock factory is not sustainable. #pbsoverload