They call it amtrak because the train am on the track

Hmm I was in the gifted program and i turned out really cool and successful. maybe they put you in by accident?

I wish they could both be president

Glen Powell it seems I’ve grown quite fond of you tho there are no sexual urges or desires you come to me as a long lost friend whom I once picked apples with in papa’s orchard

Biden marks his stepping down with stunning harmonica solo

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee

gm

literally nothing is funny when ur moving apartments..my face been stuck like this for the past five hours i think

Told my 56-year-old coworker that I’m a bit anti-social and he said “yeah I noticed that about you, you don’t necessarily light up a room”

Dylan wanting to be involved after everyone else starts fainting #GBBO

How I feel when the Trader Joe’s cashier tells me what I good job I did picking out yummy things

it’s fine tonka 💔

I want to quote this every day but i can’t bc it sounds too normal

you MUST see this illustration from baby kermit’s christmas (1988)

I used to hate waiters until I realized they’re not just being nosy. They need to know what I want to eat so they can relay it to the kitchen staff

was just informed that i reference diary of a wimpy kid way more than the average person