Overcome insomnia with heavy rain and thunder sounds echo around the tree house in foggy forest

Can I hire a service dog to fetch spindrift from the mini fridge

Online shopping at night call that a nocturnal e-mission

Using song lyrics to indict niggas is lame af and a joke. These the same lyrics that have made billions for these corporations over the past decade. I’m waiting now to see who gon step up and use those same resources now that the coin has turned….

Stop tasting so many flavors?What are you, the ice cream police?

Does it go cracker meat cheese or cracker cheese meat

*read like a buzz feed headline* How freaking cool is this? 28 awesome things you can buy at a farmers market

Europe tour over North America tour here I come…few tickets left for shows in Tallahassee and Martha’s Vineyard!

I (male, 21) think joy is when you are on a lime scooter back from the grocery store in 104 degree weather dressed like a moron humming the Mario kart invincible star song

Capri sun martini

Vets of Twitter: can my dog(s) drink a little bit of Baja blast?

The skinnier the poem the more it’s gonna suck

Currently selling “quesadilla nachos” patent to Taco Bell. Can’t say more til they sign on the dotted line but get ready to celebrate

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my tums

Listening to succession theme song while filling out job apps

Milkshake costing more than 10 dollars need to go to the Supreme Court it’s gotta be breaching the constitution

The kid from home alone turned out alright, always new he had potential #Haaland #power

Was walking past this Easter party and some old lady was getting the Heimlich done on her a whole pink egg shot out of her mouth and burst into confetti #easter #HappyEaster #EasterBunny #confetti