Home girl said she was craving Arby’s today…bro in my 25 years of living I ain’t ever heard someone say that. I was baffled lol 😷

She’s in my head all day I might as well give her some

Happy Cinco de Mayo! Make sure to have a tall glass of Lemoñadé today

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Bro fucking SpongeBob

Dude accidentally pulls out pin from grenade while inside car

People in wheelchairs/handicapped. Word of advice. Just cause y’all in wheelchairs don’t mean I won’t push you down a damn hill. Honk at me like you own the streets again and I’m putting a stick between your wheels

Jada Pinkett Smith reveals she was in the car that night with Tupac. When the bullets started flying, she was heard screaming, "Take Will Smith instead" 😳

“Dad, tell us about the Avengers Infinity War opening day theater experience”

What was $1 McChickens like?

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DMV worker watching me pull up in a car to get my license

I couldn’t care less for football, but I was hoping the 49ers would win so I could piss off a lot of chiefs fans

Me: I'll do it at 6 Time: 6:05 Me: wow looks like I gotta wait till 7 now

People really think they’re hot shit skipping a step when they go upstairs… do the same thing going down then I’ll be impressed

Girl at work kept coughing and coughing so I respectfully told her to “please go die somewhere else” and now I got a meeting about it lmaoo 🙃