The asteroid-vanquisher flew And hit as we aimed it to do, A thrilling appliance Of intricate science And vengeance for dinosaurs too

“Abortion’s the murder of kids, Which Christian tradition forbids!”, Rant folks on the Right (Except when it might Endanger their candidates’ bids). msn.com/en-us/news/pol…

The words spewed by InfoWars’ Jones Hurt far worse than mere stick & stones. His victims brought suit, He lost the dispute, And soon will lose all that he owns. trib.al/5IhMbKY

It may be the end of the road & Twitter as such may implode— Often likened to hell Full of garbage as well & for many, our truest abode

A myth had endured from the start, But lately has fallen apart. For Twitter’s new Chief Debunked the belief That “billionaire” must equal “smart.”

As Ye made his attitudes clear, Few platforms permitted him near— Just uglier places, The forums & spaces Where nazis are coddled, like here

Limericking When Ye said that Hitler’s Third Reich’s A thing that he very much likes, His words were decried So far and so wide That even douche Alex went “Yikes” nymag.com/intelligencer/…

The Georgia election is done, And Senator Warnock has won. The GOP’s chase Was doomed in this race The day it asked Walker to run. 🏃🏾‍♂️💨________________________🚶🏾 washingtonpost.com/politics/2022/…

A dick joke by activist Gretta Gave “alpha male” Tate a vendetta. He dared not be bested, Which got him arrested, A punchline that could not be betta. wegotthiscovered.com/celebrities/an…

Ms. Parks, who came under attack For failing to move to the back, Was breaching the rules (Say Florida’s schools) That singled out those who were █████. thedailybeast.com/textbook-compa…

Mr Musk, whose incompetence grew, Merged legacy checkmarks with Blue. The former don’t pay But as of today They look like the goobers who do

The Former Guy’s under arrest. “Our system is put to the test This sad, solemn day,” Some liberals say. “Haha oh fuck yeah,” say the rest. dailyherald.com/news/20230331/…

Excitement and fanfare abound As Twitterers all gather ‘round. Then, primed and prepared, DeSantis declared He’s [404 File Not Found] washingtonpost.com/technology/202…

George Conway ⚖️🇺🇸 The Former Guy stole a big stack Of docs and did not give them back. So now, on inspection, His paper collection Includes a new letter, from Jack. news.yahoo.com/trump-reported…

Lance Armstrong “What factors are used to enhance An athlete’s performance?” asks Lance. His question pertains: ❌ To what’s in one’s veins ✅ To what’s in the crotch of one’s pants x.com/lancearmstrong…

Since Twitter objectively sucks, We’re trying this new app of Zuck’s. Now Elon can hang Alone with his gang, Troll-Nazis who pay him 8 bucks. threads.net/t/CuX0geEubPf/…

DeSantis’s neck’s feeling tender From somebody ramming his fender. He promptly will claim That woke is to blame And say that the car was transgender. reuters.com/world/us/flori…

George Conway ⚖️🇺🇸 Sarah Huckabee Sanders It didn’t require a podium To recognize Huckabee’s odium. With all of the shit She’s known to emit, That cash should’ve gone to Imodium.