"Oops all silica packets"

Oh look at me, I back into parking spaces 🙄🙄🙄

man it would be so sick to live in precedented times

You can tell what places take care of their employees based on how their business hours have changed 👀

Don't let the fact that Ash is now the Pokémon World Champion distract from the fact that he never got Misty a new bicycle.

Comparing the struggles of Caitlyn Jenner to those of American soldiers is one of the most annoying and pointless comparison ever

"This mother went inside a burning building to rescue her children!" "YEAH BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TROOPS"

An elephant never forgets how to ride a bike

"I'm not shy about my butt" as heard on the South Shore Line

Tiny apples are for when you're not hungry enough for a big apple

"I've never seen a blind girl before" "NO she's DRUNK"

Is no one going to clean up the puke on Lincoln and 2nd? It's been, like, three weeks #Benghazi

ur entitled to ur own opinions but not ur own facts?? fuk that, baby. U deserve ur own facts, opinions AND unlimited refills

"They said she was 12 even though she has bigger boobs than me"

Frieza, Cell, and Kid Buu all wear black nail polish #dragonballfacts #fab

I hope there is at least a heaven for dogs

The crumbled up barbecue chips on this salad is really doing it for me

"IT'S CHEESE" -hallmark DBZ quote

Haha why is Broly's theme music butt rock

#YouDontTouchTheMeat