"Are you wearing the--" "The wig that got that lady fired from Hannah Montana? Yeah, I am."

he knew to hide that face around big papa

anxiety from the coffee i drank, energy drained by my second grader and now the ghost of my school has the nerve to tap on my coworkers mouse like please not right now

Shave your big toe girl we’re going to Miami

my house asf 🤣

house of wax starting with deftones & ending with my chemical romance & y’all wanna tell me it WASN’T peak???

what if i cry

"she's not crazy"

what is the protocol for toddler vomiting in the middle of the night bc what’s the point of having a bag or bucket near if it comes out so fast, i had throw up all over my bed broooooo 😭😭😭

if u in houston & u say the best taco u had was Velvet Taco.. i’m genuinely gonna beat yo ass

Of course I love Chinese food, I’m literally Mexican

inshallah

i’m such a “my bf this my bf that” girl but idc i love that mannnuhhh

zara was throwing that lil hinga dinga durgen booty, I had to bite my lip