At the grocery store… Deli lady: How you want that ham sliced? Me: As thin as you can get it without it shredding. Deli lady: *holds up whole, squealing pig* That good? Me: Sure.

I don’t know why, but one sandwich is the same as a dozen party sandwiches.

You know I can see that you read the message I sent you.

Yes, this weather is reminiscent of Biblical plagues, fire and ice sweeping across the land. But look on the bright side; I think the next one is frogs. And who doesn’t like frogs?

I’m still calling it the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. There’s no way I’m going to remember if we start renaming bodies of water.

Grendel Press joyously welcomes Leon Peter Blanda and his novel Old Soul! Blanda is a writer, comedian, musician, podcaster, occasional filmmaker, and full-time dad. Dog Years, his autobiographical, coming-of-age novelette, was published in 2024 gpress.link/LeonPeterBland…

They got a Bass Pro Shops in Antarctica?

I’m only 9,238 followers from 10,000. Let’s see if we can hit 10k before I die. Clock’s ticking. It’s on you.

There’s no carbs in king cake babies.

Everyday. All day. 24-7. 365.

Been sick, but I managed to get the 1st revision of my novella finished. Onto the 2nd. In the meantime, here is Ep. 3 of my podcast. Our post-apocalyptic ep. includes our top 10 post-apocalyptic films. Link in the comments. Share it, like it and subscribe if you got the time!

Sometimes it feels like a piece of media was created just for you. The Raiders episode of Blank Check Podcast with BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS is that for me. Favorite movie on my favorite podcast with my favorite comic creator. 10/10. No notes.

When they stop making pennies, a penny for your thoughts will cost a nickel, while your “two cents” will be a dime.

We’re living in the post-apHawkTuahliptic timeline.

What came last, the chicken or the egg?

I never knew the name Bastian gave the Childlike Empress until DVDs came out and I could turn on the closed captions.

April showers implies the existence of April growers.

They call it spy craft, like you can pick up a kit at Hobby Lobby.

I wrote a book about comedy… sort of. #comedy #jokes #standupcomedy #host #feature #headliner #comedyshow #crowdwork #bits #giggles

Real New Years Resolutions come from the New Years region of France. Everything by else is sparkling lies.