Biology lesson. Your baby’s DNA isn’t identical to your DNA… making it not your body…

Who called it “thrifting” and not “Goodwill hunting.”

It's called Fall because it's the season we all fall in love with

Is there anything better thank waking up to a forehead that’s been complete frozen by Botox? I mean, really…

One thing I have learned in my 46 years is telling people how awful you think they are and how dumb you think they are will never help in changing their minds or help them to even see any validity to your point. At all.

It’s funny when people get mad about tweet thief’s, as if any of you have ever had an original thought

I count the way I get into the car door on a busy street as yoga

Falling in love with some people is like hearing the theme music from Jaws, but diving in anyway, convinced you can change the shark

My Twitter experience has taught me not all bodies are beautiful.

If you want to stop being invited to the children's birthday parties, buy all the littles an air horn for Christmas.

Look. We can see your photos you post. Please, for the love of God, have mercy on us.

Don’t pull my hair. Just call me baby.

I just asked for the license plate that doesn’t say “In God we trust.” I’m a firm believer in Jesus and in the fact that a state required item shouldn’t mention religion.

Happy holidays friends!!

I only like Marines, who weren’t dishonorably discharged.

Helllooooo! Are y’all still here.

I’ll be the rubber band..even if you’re pocket change…

“Oh my God, you’re a mean girl.” Say that every time a woman trash talks another woman until it all ends.

Calling all TikTok Shop / UGC Creators 🚨 We’re giving away $3k in cash and a Van Cleef necklace to someone who: 1. Retweets this tweet 2. Tags a friend 3. Follows me 4. Go through the GMV Max hacking case study I send you The winner will be announced on Friday, good luck! 🫡

Im so southern, I'm thinking about getting my kids monogrammed...