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Two beavers named Jim and Bob were standing on a river bank when Jim asked, "What do you want to do about the river, Bob?" Bob replied, "Dam it, Jim."

What kind of music do vegans listen to? Veggie rap

I just saw Gandalf at the computer store... He was trying to find a good spell checker.

"What's for dinner?" asked the little piglets... Mama pig answered, "I'm making humans in a blanket!"

After the wicked witch turned Prince Charming back into a frog, he was then known throughout the kingdom as... the frog formerly known as prince.

What do you call a mom who is constantly dodging things... A Mother Ducker.

What do you call an old grizzly without its dentures... 🐻 A gummy bear.

I can be wrong if I want... it's my right!

The man was riding a horse drinking whiskey... The horse was totally $hit-faced.

The baseball player swung his bat... The winged mammal was confused and didn't know what to think about this behavior

The baseball player stepped up to the plate... It was a piece of finely crafted china

Several cows were having a conversation... One of them said, "That farmer's gonna keep milking us until the humans come home."

When carpooling with her friends, she would get scared whenever they drove into a tunnel... She had carpool tunnel syndrome

The baseball player swung his bat... The winged mammal was confused and didn't know what to think about this behavior

The little chicks in the hen house were misbehaving... So the mama chicken yelled, "Stop running around like a bunch of humans with your heads cut off."

She took the drumsticks away from the percussionist while he was playing... Now he was forced to eat wings instead.

The chicken did not cross the road... It got scared and decided to human out

A boy named Chance refused to share his pepperoni slices... His hungry friends pleaded with him, "All we are saying is give pizza, Chance."

The guru had lots of followers... They all worked for collection agencies.

Why did the smartphone break up with its charger... It felt like they had no connection