So I'm thinking of buying a food truck that only sells fried chicken, but only be open one day a week. I'll park it next to a Chick-fil-A every Sunday, and I'm gonna name the truck "Side Chick" I'm gonna be bitch!

Hey Mike, How did Sara get from Los Angeles to New York?

You know how hard it is to wash coffee outta bone?

All you need is a turkey, a few snowcrab legs, & some pork sausage and you will never be asked to cook another festive family dinner ever again!

A shitload of Little Debbie snack cakes, and a half gallon of Kemp's Banana Milk (they dont make it anymore)

When it's bring your Father's Brother's Nephew's Cousin's Former Roommate to work day aboard the Death Star

"HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE, AND IT WILL REPEAT ITSELF" Its official the second roast battle will suck as much as the first one did!

So I was thinking of picking up a few houseplants, Just to liven up the inside of my house...

Finally, a Tik Tok video worth watching!

Earlier today I saw a bumper sticker that said: "I am a Veterinarian therefore I drive like a animal" Suddenly I realized just how many Proctologists there must be out driving on the roads right now!

I dont know where you can buy this? But I need one to hang on my wall!!!

One minute you're young, free, and have the world at your feet... and then a few years later you get super excited when your grocery store delivery order has absolutely no substitutions or out of stock items.

I don't know what the hell this item is, or who built it, But I do know some certain fathers who should never be allowed no where near this god dam thing!

Just one more reason why I should never become a father tiktok.com/@kevin.lawson/…

Mick Jagger is 76 Keith Richards is 75 Roger Daltrey is 75 Ozzy Osbourne is 71 Robert Plant is 71 Alice Cooper is 71 Steven Tyler is 71 Joe Perry is 69 The rappers of today are obviously out there doing all the wrong kind of drugs

Girls be out there crying over some dude that reads at a 3rd grade reading level. Chill out Felicia, He's not out there ignoring your text, He's having trouble sounding out the big words! Give him a few minutes

"When you're an adult, you can do what ever you want." This is perhaps the biggest line of bullshit that my parents has ever fed to me as a child!

You know shit is getting bad when America is too fuckin crazy for even Ozzy Osbourne!!! newsmax.com/politics/ozzyo…

OMG, I can't fuckin wait!!! youtu.be/cCNKdJ2CIJk