Just learned that it costs $0.80 to make one rapid test. Eighty cents.

Big day for dads with pocket knives

my dad couldn’t breathe when he handed me this in a gift bag just on the floor laughing tears in his eyes

motion sickness is so embarrassing. like oh no the car is moving why don’t i throw up about it

if i ever saw a hobbit i would whack it with a broom

Biden campaigning vs Biden in office

had a dream last night i was drunk driving and the cop could breathalyze me WHILE I DROVE PAST THEM so they KNEW and I got off the exit and ran inside a building. I have not had a drink in over a week???

Ok understood

CDC recommends splitting up your quarantine over your two 15min breaks

"ok but did you die tho" - the biden administration

BREAKING: President Biden says there is "no federal solution" to you having no hoes

walgreens is a psycho when my prescriptions are ready

the new AOT is giving me goosebumps I can’t fking wait

yes i did buy my dog an elevated dog cot he is my spoiled baby

i’ve twittered enough for awhile i want to die again so i’m deleting ✌🏻💙