I am the uneven drawstring on the hoodie of life.

That sad moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching an awesome movie.

"I saw that." - Karma

Twitter: What's happening? Facebook: What are you thinking? MySpace: Where is everybody?

That awkward moment when you touch someone's butt by accident.

Strict parents create hoe daughters.

It's funny how you can do nice things for people all the time, and they never notice. But once you make one mistake, it's never forgotten.

"You need anger management classes" "You need SHUT THE FUCK UP! classes"

That awkward moment when someone catches you making weird faces at yourself in the mirror.

"Cutie RB" is the best free iPhone game app! You could win $3,000 now!!! >> bit.ly/WFobzw - sp

I'm not jealous, I just don't like that slut.

"Coke please." "Is Pepsi ok?" "Is monopoly money ok?"

I wasn't mad. Then you asked me 10 times if I was mad. Now Im mad.

All my life I thought air was free...until I bought a bag of chips.

Hottest Cheerleaders of all time!!>>> bit.ly/Xj8QnK - sp

Check out Mila Kunis: Sexiest Woman Alive! We think #6 is stunning! bit.ly/UXMbTx - sp

Mila Kunis Naked in my last tweet!!! (18+up) Photos Leaked

its all fun and games until u see a pic of what u looked like in 7th grade

World's shortest joke: "I do" by Kim Kardashian.

Sometimes I look at my friends and think to myself, "Where did I meet these crazy people?" But then I think "What would I do without them?"