"you cold dude?- naw b*tch I'm on vibrate.

Dear Sleep, I'm sorry I hated you when I was little, but now I can't get enough of you! Sincerely, Me.

"Let the beauty of what you love be what you do." - Rumi

I like people who can keep the conversation going no matter how random the topics get.

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.- Jimmy Carter

My favorite poem is the one that starts "Thirty days have September" because it actually tells you something.

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. - Mitch Hedberg

2 words I hate? School and Monday.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. - Mitch Hedberg

I hate when I look horrible in a group picture and the person that looks good refuses to delete it.

Sometimes you stop for a moment and realize that you never stop for a moment. And then you realize why you don't stop. And why you need to.

childhood memory- friends mom- "ur moms here" friend- "hide so u don't have to go home"

I study ? I take the test ? I pass it ? I forget what I learned

I am not perfect, don't expect that shit.

"Let the beauty of what you love be what you do." - Rumi

If your mom can't find it, it's gone forever.

Cultivating inner discipline is something that takes time; expecting rapid results is simply a sign of impatience.

My favorite poem is the one that starts "Thirty days have September" because it actually tells you something.

how I finish my presentations: So, um.. yea...

I only check my Voicemail to get rid of that little icon in the screen.