going through my tik tok reposts like oh yeah i remember that

watching spongebob to sleep instead of south park is genuinely making me a more positive person

no cookie butter at the trader joe’s this might actually be my final straw goodbye world

just pregamed by myself. in the uber there by myself. we balling tonight.

new mitski, they might be giants in brooklyn, timothee oscar impending. 2026 will be my year.

i can’t even describe how this cover makes me feel god bless mitski

sewing while watching the pitt feeling like her

nothing’s about to happen to me

Too late. I have already depicted myself as the unbothered white cat and you as the seething orange tabby cat.

i thought i lost my phone the other day and i was so gagged i literally said this:

trudging through the snow to open my job in times square by myself for the first time. on the second day of my period. mitski how deep is your love cover in my headphones. there’s a 38% chance i explode.

my boss brought me and my coworker into her office to show us something. it was the bad bunny calvin klein ad. i informed her i’d already seen it but i wouldn’t mind taking another look.

You’re laughing. Bad Bunny is gonna bring out Mitski for a surprise I Bet on Losing Dogs performance and you’re laughing.

my job is getting my money up and my funny up. #employedwriter

people turning against timothee and telling me to jump ship. they don't know i have a terrible disease that makes me attracted to men with big mouths and misworded takes.

Over 500 celebrities have signed an open letter asking the Academy to publicly execute Timothée Chalamet at the Oscars. “His reign of terror must end."

i actually got chills watching this. . .

yesterday i wrote personal apologies to all the mets fans in my life (i put a hex on them) and hours later they won. i'm not even kidding.

me at 11 finding every picture of jo calderone ever taken and putting them in a secret folder not yet realizing my life would forever change