What the hell is going on? Why is this a popular shoe? I’d be embarrassed to wear this as part of an Alien costume. And my everyday shoe is crocs so……

I just heard someone say email marketing. Stop pretending that’s not a fancy way of saying spam email. Why does this exist? Email marketing.

Remember when we all had to wear masks everywhere? That sucked

Elon Musk is my hero. Out here doing real life superhero shit. #thepeopleschamp #elonforpresident

A double cheeseburger at McDonald’s is $.40 cheaper than a McDouble. So basically if you have a double cheeseburger it costs money to remove a piece of cheese. That makes sense.

Have you ever heard of anyone intentionally clicking on a spam email? So called email marketing? Has anyone ever actually benefited from that?

What’s a nelk?

Is it possible the whole NFL sucks this year?

Everyone: “the liver king is on steroids” Me: “what’s a liver king?”

For every new follower I get on my new IG page, I get 3 new followers with jibberish handles and bad English in bio saying something about “hi yes spicy photograph me yes”. Do better Instagram.

The best part about living in California is how unbelievably good it feels to finally move out of California.

I’m such a loser I’m honestly rethinking having unlimited texts and calls. I text like 25 times per month. Don’t even remember how to make a phone call.

I’ve heard a million people complain about the egg crisis and literally not a single person talk about why it’s happening. Does anybody know? Serious question I have no idea why it’s happening pls help

About to fall asleep when my cat decides to violently throw up massive chunky shit on my bed and all over a pile of freshly cleaned clothes. Why do people like cats?

On another note completely unrelated to my last tweet…. Anybody know anyone that wants a cat?

It’s funny how everyone that listens to that newer computer based “music” thinks they’re a DJ. What’s worse is when any dipsh*t pushes buttons on a keyboard they sound like the biggest names in the booty booty “music”. News flash: it’s all trash.

Did y’all see the handshake on #CollegeGameDay poor guy got embarrassed.

I pay $307.88 every month for my student loans. The total balance on my loans decreased by $11 last month. I owe well north of $50k. What in the actual F #studentloans #federalstudentaid #studentloandebt #deptofeducation

California isn’t a real place.

Netflix for the #fail