Question to the Twitter-verse; if you add meat or onions to a grilled cheese, is it now a melt? Or still a grilled cheese 🧀

Adam Smith would slap all of us across the face for using him as a defense for the free market today

The worst part of having taken 4 Spanish classes in high school is trying to help a lady who only speaks Spanish; but only understanding prepositions 🤦🏼‍♂️

The best part of masks is eating taquitos in the back of ubers without people knowing

I disagree with a vaccine mandate, but firmly believe anyone who doesn’t get vaccinated is an idiot 🤷🏼‍♂️

Donda not dropping yet made me go back through Ye’s discography all day and am now just more hyped for it 🤦🏼‍♂️

Just washed down a couple of Tums with some Diet Coke. #imold

My current fave bartender just asked me if I have been following the Arizona audit. 😭 #heartbroken

That was the most Tom Brady shit I’ve ever seen

Ted and Coach Beard Jason Sudeikis Brendan Hunt

Ye said Travis Scott was a combo of him, cudi, Et al; and then Escape Room literally is the same flow as Pt. 2, with an emphasis on the breath control

It hurts me to say it; but I’ma start betting on the vikes to blow it in the last 10 seconds 😭

#lunareclipse2022

Here’s a cool bridge in Oregon to improve your timeline.

August 2016

I may be wrong, but I believe I was the only man in a turtle neck at menards today

It’s always a good day when I can snap 10 good pals a picture of me gardening that says “I’m tired grandpa” and I get 6+ responses of “well that’s too damn bad!”

I hate when you’re scrolling Snapchat stories, and then the Amazon ad comes up and is impossible to apparently not click it; and then it’s like “do you want to open Amazon” and you say no, and then it opens Amazon. 🤦🏼‍♂️

I just sneezed ten god damned times in a row

I don’t understand why noodles aren’t introduced to more culinary mediums.