i love making the mistake of doing a bj’s run in the bronx when the world series is happening 🧍🏻‍♀️

spilling freshly cooked soup all over my stomach and thighs and getting burns was not on my bingo card for tonight 😍

me: ew i’m NEVER putting clothes on my dog also me w my dog:

me: i can’t sleep gf: well i can *rolls over* HUH 😀

i love when my dog tries to suffocate me with her big ass fucking hippo head at 2am

this is so sexy

damn i didn’t think they’d actually do it after threatening it all these years lmaoo

unfortunately this has become my new stim

i loathe tiny transactional “venmo me $9 for covering lunch” culture no i’m gonna pay for you this time, you’re gonna pay for me next time, and it’s all gonna come out in the aggregate of our long and storied friendship

“tHiS gEnErAtiOn iS sO eAsiLy oFfEnDeD” I regularly call my best friend a whore, we just don't like racism.

EVERYBODY AND THEY GODDAMN MOTHER GETTING AN INSPECTION STICKER THIS MORNING

WIFE & CHILD

this is my wife everyone

i love when white ass mfs casually throw around the n word like it’s no big deal

ash is such a softie bro

just a masc and their slutty lil crop top today 😚

gf won’t let me get a mini highland cow. they hate me. this is a hate crime x2 during pride month AND on my birthday. everybody say what the FUCK, ash 😤

no way is there an advertisement for ICE playing during the VMAs

my hall pass, you ask?? crankdat no further questions 🙂‍↔️

currently at laguardia hoping they don’t make me fly my own plane bc i’m taking spirit