Mor†icia Addams

Elf on a shelf? How about hooker on a cooker. Now that's something I would fund.

Suicide is never the answer. You gotta outlive your enemies.

They grow up so fast ❤ m.facebook.com/story.php?stor…

How is it still January and the mall is already filled with Valentine's gifts? Is this a joke? Ha--- No?

RT 😘 Just do it.

Let the girl marry a Queen. #ApprovalStamp

Think they can just replace me like that? They've got another thing coming. I appreciate the effort.

I can never labor under the delusion I’m unique because every morning I walk my small dog and see nothing but other middle aged white women walking their small dogs and honestly we’re all pretty interchangeable.

100 ReTweets and I'll remix Joe Black screaming "Camp Old Bitch!" 🔊

The bitch is back 🖤

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

ROLL CALL Raise of hands, who's still here?

Because sometimes it is true 🧙🏼‍♀️

*imagining @MaleficentOUaT in this* Darling... please.

*simping for my wife*

What a peach, I'll plant him 6ft under in the back yard and see what comes up next spring. Hopefully nothing, but if so, the children can play whack-a-mole on Halloween.

The prologue to my autobiography:

#TeamLesbian *makes finger guns at my wife @MaleficentOUaT , with a wink* Hello darling.