i would like to order one jame charle please and thanks

had a dream i met jason bateman at a restaurant and i walked up to him in silence and showed him my tweets abt him

someone in my family has used the amazon to search "gags and practical joke toys" and it wasn't me

something embarrassing happened and i won't elaborate

thank god im too young to pay taxes (this is a joke)

*taps mic* is this thing on bc i better go catch it

die a hero or live long enough to capitalize letters in texts

sometimes i just tweet so i can show ppl irl how funny my tweets r

if i was a toenail, which i am NOT, i would NEVER b ingrown

can someone tell my dog that i'm actually rlly cool and laidback

eric cartman would never walk a mile in my shoes

hermit the crab

sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and instead of being thirsty i need to play one game of sudoku (level hard) before i can go back to sleep

the world needs less hate (i hate olives so much it's unreal)

but has anyone considered that the sweet treat is the friends we make along the way (and the mcflurry)

if u saw the northern lights literally leave me alone i don't care and im not jealous

if inquiring about gently used american girl doll furniture on facebook marketplace is illegal then lock me up baby

i can't think of anything that feels better than when the private bathroom at work is free🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

if u don't hear from me it's bc the line for the escalator at the porter square t station was too long and i had to take the stairs

now that #tiktokban is happening i can live up to my true potential: become mediocre at super auto pets and rewatch the same ghost hunting videos every night