I’m at the “becomes irate when I see birds outside because it feels like they’re mocking me” stage of the quarantine.

Happy Easter! Just because Jesus broke quarantine doesn't mean you should #StayHome

I love when New Jersey really doubles down on its New Jersey-ness

As much as I appreciate the commitment to the bit, doing this to Jersey bagels should be a crime

Cutting to a commercial might make me black out from euphoria #Debates2020

High school theatre has better control of the microphones than tonight’s #Debate2020

Congratulations to the winner of #Debate2020: alcohol 🙂👍🏼

Kamala is saying “Mr. Vice President, I’M speaking” for every woman who has every been in a male dominated meeting and I am HERE FOR IT 🙌🏼 #Debates2020

I can’t wait to see who plays the fly on SNL 🦟

I’m so god damn excited to feel boredom again

As awful as 2020 was, I haven’t touched denim in months and I’m pretty grateful for that

Me any time they cut the Saturday Night Live goodbyes short

A deer hit my car on Friday and it was best described as “not fun,” but at least it gave me an excuse to rewatch Gilmore Girls

One of the most unapologetically New Jersey things about me is how much I fantasize about ordering a bagel 🥯

🎶 Hey baby I hear the blues-a calling for pork roll, cheese and eggs🎶

12/24 ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️👫⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️🕺🏼⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️ Not Wordle, just the end of Die Hard

What an embarrassing take from somebody who lives in Michigan.

Four teens are trick or treating in my neighborhood riding around on a golf cart. Absolute legends. 10/10. No notes. 🎃

TBH the real winner of the #SuperBowl was the cast of Clueless

My weighted blanket isn’t good enough. I need a human sized panini press