The mic wrapped around her heeeeels

Bringing an intimacy coordinator to my next hinge date

when you start to feel good for any reason

How it feels after watching a love movie where the main characters love each other but don’t end up together because the lesson is “loving is letting go”

when they gonna run out of qr codes

I just have to look at my phone a little bit more and something incredible will happen

I think my purpose is to do whatever the fuck I want honestly

nobody ever wants to hang out during the week. you need to start underperforming in other areas of your life so you can hang out with me

me breaking up with my bf if my first gf ever hits me up again

Jesus is rumored to have collaborated with God.

if you’re “career driven” grow up. become hanging out driven. goofin off driven

I love going out and getting compliments #Vain

ever since i was a little kid i knew that i wanted to be late for work

(stroking my chin) hmm if I was a person worthy of respect what would I be doing right now

messaging my coworker who is a full grown man: hey girl got a question for uuu

Oh im getting a call. DECLINED! jackin off!!!

You know those videos where people say all of their pets favourites words…

this tumblr post being one of the greatest contributions to modern philosophy