the way i revisit this tweet every now and then

Celebrities are all coming together to face The Rizzler in Mario Kart in what appears to be a reverse Make A Wish situation

i go garbanzo on her bean until that chick pees

Your hog is looking positively Lovecraftian today, homie

Call me a communist but I think stopping cancer research is worse than being nice to a pregnant trans person

Terrible idea. You're going to end up having to slowly ride it down while attacked by multiple waves of leaping/flying enemies without cover.

thank god for trap djs. sometimes i be forgetting how to count to 3

I can’t even imagine what kinda stanky shit he must’ve been laying down in order to make this face

Any song can be mixed into any song.

ONHELL

My girlfriend had the pleasure of visiting Yankees stadium yesterday with her friend, Dave. He always wears a Phillies hat and jersey and offered to take her which was awesome. Hope they had a great time

what happened financially and calorically this july can never happen again

jiggling the steering wheel so my teams status doesnt go inactive and i end up flipping into a ditch killing a family of seven

Of course. Of course you can store PNGs on bird brains. What the hell sure why not

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes

it's interesting that we immediately doxxed the coldplay cheating couple but not the baseball fingerbang duo. i'm proud of us for that.