the Senator Ted Cruz proving once again why he’s the worst. Not only is he a spineless, self-serving liar. But he sucks at memes too. (Btw - calling something radical isn’t an insult. Lots of innovations were considered radical at the time of their conception.

Hey Never Not Funny Jimmy Pardo - love the idea of having the gang join me in Canada if the election goes sideways. But as much as I’d love to be a quarterly guest, I’m praying that doesn’t happen. #isolationfiles

Crazy how the #SupremeCourtConfirmation is supposed to be bipartisan, yet #AmyConeyBarrett has gone out of her way to avoid answering Dem questions, yet been entirely forthcoming w/GOP softballs

The so-called President is currently spewing more lies than ever about the election and fueling more division with his disinformation. #soreloser #criminal #shutupTrump

Crazy how the only “election corruption” the president is complaining about is only happening in states he is losing. But it’s fine in Arizona where he is gaining... #WakeUpAmerica

Fucking wimp You are Trump. You can’t spread lies on Twitter without them calling you on it. So you hold a press conference spewing lies to your idiot base and don’t take any questions. Because you know you’re a pathetic loser. You fucked the country

Do you think Trump has ever let a friend crash on his couch for a couple days? Or physically helped them move? No f’ing way.

Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye Trump! - S.S. Covfefe Is Going Down youtu.be/Rb7jllE17yA via YouTube

Last night I dreamed I was starting a Foo Fighters cover band called “The Best of Foo” which I thought was a great name. Now that I’m awake I realize “Pretender” is a good one too. Let’s hear your options!

Had such a great time catching up with my pals on Never Not Funny this week. Get your finances in order and subscribe to the pardcast to hear me reminisce about my time on the "Half Hour News Hour" and how Ann Coulter sapped my soul. And of course, THANK YOU Jimmy Pardo

I’m going to start using Twitter more. April Fools! It’s a dumpster fire on here.

I’m starting to think the New England Patriots don’t like Matty Ice! #patriots

Hey Cineplex - I shouldn’t be seeing repeats of commercials ten minutes after the movie should have started!

Happy New Year ?!

I’m sad to hear about Betty White’s passing. But for her sake, I’m glad she doesn’t have to witness Andy Cohen on CNN right now.

Hey NBA on ABC News - could you please rid us of the lousy team of Van Gundy and Jackson?

I’m reunited with my old pal Jennifer Robertson in this heartwarming holiday movie! Airs tonight on Hallmark. - In Merry Measure hallmarkchannel.com/in-merry-measu…

Haven’t been active on Twitter in a while, because, well, you know, it’s so twittery. But decided to offer some positivity to counterbalance all the grossness out there. So here goes… “puppies!” - I’ll try better tomorrow

It never fails…

This is scary and asinine on so many levels.