Never realized how much I missed roller coasters. Like what I wouldn’t give to flying upside down through the air right now.

Anyone else use cough drops as mints? Like oh I can’t go into work with smelly breath let’s pop a fisherman’s friend

Judge: we will now take a thirty minute recess [10 minutes later outside] Defendant: can you push me on the swing

Don’t run to a certain distance. Don’t run for a certain amount of time. Run until you burn as many calories as 7 margaritas so that it’s like you didn’t even drink them.

Shoutout to Tinder for banning me for no reason, not letting me create another account, and then telling me that they do not review bans and my account will remain banned. How am I supposed to mindlessly swipe through hot guys and never message them now?! Booo you suck

Las Vegas is 100% open and back to normal and in Ontario all my underwear have holes because clothes are non-essential.

Nah.. This pandemic has made my social tolerance even lower 😭 I get tired of people and being ‘outside’ quick as hell

I’m gonna say it… I needed these lockdowns to learn how not to spend every dollar I have

how is every toothpaste the #1 toothpaste recommended by dentists

better than camp rock? alright man

i don’t date men that aren’t funnier than me (I don’t date)

Arguing with white males over indigenous Rights it’s honestly shocking

Now this is correct dark humor

I miss the clubs but we’ve been social distancing for so long that anyone being close to me literally gives me anxiety

"consume within 7 days of opening" is bias against singles

23 is a weird ass age. I feel old and young 😭

My diet consists of eating all three meals all at one time and then feeling like I’m going to explode for the rest of the day until I digest and destroy a pizza at midnight

How does Canada give indigenous ppl a holiday but not clean drinking water

If one more person tells me to “find someone who..” like I don’t even care what they do I’m just tryna find someone.