The weather is conspiring against the ice cream eating agenda but we will not be silenced.

i would prefer not to

the crushing weight of three very manageable tasks

This is Chloe. She doesn't understand why she can't have any of your Chinese food. Brought over a clean plate and everything. 13/10

This is Balto. He told you he knew a spot with a great view. Didn’t tell you what he uses that spot for. 12/10

This is Thistle. She's having a great hair day. All five of them are going in the same direction. 12/10

“Can we jump on a quick call”

Can’t take the sizzle to go, gotta lock in.

been feeling like shrek with his ears down lately

Me in a rush to get home from work to do absolutely nothing

Wearing a shirt that says “I ❤️ the jury” to my trial

I hate “small plates” restaurants. The waiter always starts their pitch with “how hungry are you?” And it’s like...what do you think? I’m an American at a restaurant. The answer is “offensively hungry.” I came here to eat until I’m ashamed of myself.

sorry for how i acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time

Me at work pretending to be nice

Flat rat.

Me pretending to look busy at work so that I don't get told to go do something

when you're being mean to me this is who you're being mean to btw

“I can't wait to have fun on my day off” me on my day off :