i have only two moods

she’s a 10 but she eats her first meal at 2 pm

As the days go on… the more I think I should live in Ireland and make a move.

do you like eggs but simultaneously have to mentally prepare yourself and pray not get the ick for them in the middle of your meal, or are you normal

"I can change him" Baby girl change your oil :/

It’s gameday in Morgantown and the lemurs are here

the passenger in front of you

IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS IF YOU WOULD STILL LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM, JUST SAY YES. SHE WILL NEVER BE A WORM. YOU WILL NEVER ACTUALLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT. BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE GIRLFRIEND WHO THINKS YOU WOULDN'T LOVE HER IF SHE WAS A WORM AND SHE IS MAD

I don’t know why… but Shameless is the only show that gets me through the fall and winter.

It must be an awful month for me mentally because I’ve never spent this much money in a month.

x.com/gatinarios/sta…

Two months ago I forgot to say “happy gotcha day to Si” and I just feel bad. So here it is. I guess I’ve had him for four years now 🐱

We should all band together and refuse to pay taxes until they lower them. Sounds like a bad idea but could be one of those bad ideas that turns out to be a good idea.

Switching jobs and trying to find insurance makes me want to pull my hair out.

“An empty browser history says more than a full one” – Abraham Lincoln

CAN YOU GUESS: We have talked a little bit on the show about it… any idea where I’ll be for Saint Patrick’s day? Hints: 1. It’s the best place on earth 2. The people are the most genuine real people you’ll ever meet 3. It’s RICH.. or the RICHEST hill on earth. Any ideas?!