"Wyd after work?" Me already in bed:

Me looking at what's about to turn into a missed call

my advice to toddlers is to start saving your money now.

Adults seemed way more adultier when i was little.

"if you sleep in the afternoon, you won't sleep at night" me in the afternoon and at night:

Me: i have a headache WebMD: and it’ll be your last

EVERYTHING KEEPS COSTING MONEY!!

me when I can hear people chewing:

Another 11 minute weekend I can’t do this anymore

“Do you remember?” Me:

I feel so off today.

And that thing…. Is usually some shit like this:

If I can wash, dry, and put away laundry in one day then I'm truly a successful adult.

everyone casually coming to Twitter to crash out because #LoveIslandUSA still hasn’t been released

I hope that you're not losing sleep about what's next.

Whenever I come back on here I never fail to see the most wild shit lol.