One of my techs told me that my banana pudding is better than HIS MOM’S.

Open to anything Attached to nothing

Oh the IRONY 🙃

I need someone to talk about Hazbin Hotel with

I can’t be the only one who hears “it’s like the tide always f**king rising” in a heavy Scottish accent, right?

Forgot to post this yesterday but,

live. (love and laugh sold separately)

Me, most of the time: “astrology isn’t real” Also me, a Pisces: *wakes up and writes an entire poem that I dreamed*

No I ain’t happy yet, but I’m way less sad ✨

Crushed it at darts tonight Pool? Not so much 🙃

“Even when this world is a forgotten whisper of dust between the stars, I will love you.”

finally watched bill and ted for the first time tonight.

Why is there so much booty in the duolingo yearly recap? 😂

I’ve never been disliked by someone I’d want to trade places with

I wish I could work as half assed as my anti-depressant does

have you thanked beyoncé for the new year yet?

“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become king. The palace becomes a circus.”

Weird and sad that the president has more merch than K-pop demon hunters 🙃