WHERE'S LANCEL WITH MY BLOODY WINE?!

@GregorPartyDude You should party with me more often. Wars, whores, now there's a good time!

The council tells me that the realm can't afford another tournament. Next, they'll tell me I have to start paying my whores. #pissonthat

How to make a King Robert: First, mix any old cocktail, then PISS ON THAT. #partytime

I'm going to find me a whore and show her my warhammer, if you catch my drift. #winkwinknudgenudge

Some people say that boar tastes greasy. I say it tastes like victory! #winning

Some people say that war is Hell. I say war's a party! #bangingboarshuntingwhores

Guess who just got his bro back? That's right; this guy. #bros4life

Marrying a Lannister, and ignoring the fact that none of my children look like me. #bigmistake

Funny, Ned. I learned how to die a long time ago, too. #funnybecauseitstrue

@JonBastSnow You should hang out with all of my bastards sometime; you could have a black-hair-blue-eyed-bastard party.

Note to self: pay more attention to the physical traits of my children, especially the hair. #somebodytellmewhy