The Town > The Departed

How it feels getting paid when you still have money left over from the last paycheck

“I'm certainly not going to call you Joe because that would be insulting to a real Samoan who I love very much” My favorite moment of the segment ❤️

Me: “I should have about $200 left” Bank balance: $2.13 Me:

he’s depressed, bitchless, broke, lonely and miserable WE ARE SO BACK

If i told bron that i need the money to take care of my family, he’d easily let me score. Jordan would tell me to get my black ass tf outta his face and then guard me like his life depended on it

me opening my bank account after the weekend

Yo: Deberían quedarme como $500 aún Mi cuenta: $24.08

Me checking my bank account after prioritizing my happiness

watched a dude carry a screaming toddler across the parking lot. he noticed me looking at him and said "he's mine, i'm not stealing him" and then before i could reply he added "if i was gonna take one, it definitely wouldn't be this asshole"

Tom Cruise is reportedly being eyed to play the villain in Joseph Kosinski’s ‘MIAMI VICE’ film. If Cruise takes the role, he will be joining Michael B. Jordan and Austin Butler. (Source: Daniel Richtman)

they shoulda never let me know this gif exists 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Another instant classic lmfao

How that first cup of caffeine hits on Eid morning.

Eid Mubarak, New York.

nigga just honked at me in a drive thru relax #fatfuck

Zohran Mamdani announces Eid will officially become a public holiday in New York City.