prediction: when people realize this is a bit and they've been duped, their response will be that it just wasn't funny

Producer: "So what's your big movie idea?" Me, with Dr. Evil voice: "Billion Dollar Baby"

Is Buzzfeed Italian?

Do you think Tom Cruise still knows the hand choreography from Minority Report?

Fancy isn’t a fancy enough word.

The most impressive future technology in Star Trek has to be the cleaner they use to wipe down all the touchscreens.

I think we may differ on what we consider "good news" #fitness #weightlifting

Now that I'm not going to be a successful comedian, it's almost like being bullied so much as a kid and being so depressed for so long wasn't even worth it...#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth #mentalhealth

Absurd? I’ll tell you what’s absurd! That the word “absurd” begins with an “a” and not an “o”! That’s obsurd!

I find that most bee stings were a simple misunderstanding.

Bee swarms around my head, falling off scaffolding, running in a cloud of dust only to discover the ground is no longer there. Things I didn’t need to have worried about.

Partying...Beach or Backyard?

Welp this blew up

hey sorry i actually called shotgun infinity when i was 9 so you have to sit in the back

/imagine by John Lennon & The Plastic Ono Band (Music Video by Midjourney AI) #midjourney #midjourneyAi #midjourneyart #midjourneybeta youtube.com/watch?v=jYHY50…

Scientists at Stanford University have reconstructed this 3D model of how Jesus, the son of Mary might have looked.

My last words… Tell the cat I said “GooOOOd YaaAAAwn!”

I have a feeling this is going to be a good year for music.

For the last 15 years I have been leaving clues for my murder. Assuming I’m not murdered, I think it’s really going to spice up the conversation at my funeral. But if somehow I am murdered, it’s probably going to really fuck up the investigation. Apologies in advance.

I just backed Exil - A Post Apocalyptic Metroidvania on Kickstarter kickstarter.com/projects/mys/e…