- Darling, you're manspreading again. - I can't help it. It's the lavender.

After you fart three times in the car, DO NOT — no matter how funny it may seem — say to your wife: “To air is human.”

Dolly Parton is amazing!

Every Republican member of Congress voted against the Inflation Reduction Act. That hasn’t stopped them from claiming credit now that billions of dollars and thousands of jobs are coming home. That's alright: Bidenomics works for all of America.

Had enough yet ?

#Apollo11 launch day, 54th anniversary. 🇺🇸🚀🌛 Steak and eggs today celebrating in style at home with my Anca.

You have wrinkled linen shirts. You have a hot, humid garage. Connect the dots, my friend. These are genius dots.

Today, some of the books that shaped my life—and the lives of so many others—are being challenged by people who disagree with certain ideas or perspectives. And librarians are on the front lines, fighting every day to make the widest possible range of viewpoints, opinions, and

🤣😂

I don’t wanna brag, but my teenager just talked to me for like 8 seconds.

I have a very small dog — a Shih-tzu — and her behavior indicates that she has a Napoleon complex.

Google is my Primary Care Physician.

My wife talked to me for nearly an hour about how much she can't stand chatty people.

WTF happened to Twitter. I used to come here for the jokes. Now all I see is political hatred.

I’d like to see a movie where the hitman opens the briefcase to assemble the high-powered rifle and sees it’s made by Ikea.