HEELS

I’m about to embark on a challenge for the ages: it’s called the Dog Days of Summer and I document me eating a hotdog every day from Memorial Day to Labor Day. Godspeed

Day 13 of the challenge: spirits are high and the glizzys are going down nice

Just witnessed a true Worldstar moment where two chipotle employees beat the shit out of each other right in front of me. Right as the fight ended one went back and looked me dead in the eye and asked what salsa I wanted. This was legitimately top 3 moments of my entire life

Do you ever sneeze so hard you become a medieval farmer who tries their hardest to support their family but the local monarch taxes you too much and you just can’t support your five children? Just happened to me and I hate when that happens

Big Cat’s NFL Week 3 Power Rankings

Weather in Chicago right now is like someone breathed on me while chewing mint gum and then sack tapped me right after

They should name the Virgin Islands the Nah dude I totally had sex last night, I was really drunk but like we definitely did it, I’m pretty sure she loved it Islands

This is so ridiculous but I love it

We should bring back watching music videos on tv before actually starting your day. Felt like I was ready to conquer the morning when it started with Photograph by Nickleback

Ugh

🩵🤍 #L1C4