"How's it going?" Me:

in the clurb, we are NOT all fam.

“Stop bouncing your leg” girl, it’s either this or I start screaming

when I say I gotta skedaddle

It’s now been 7 years and have yet to be on a bull someone with a bull plz text me

Dropping kennedy beam off at the airport, thinking she’s a fully grown adult and can handle this. Until we are 30 seconds from the airport and she hits me with “what’s a terminal?”

Don’t kill yourself. Trump will die one day and you’re gonna wanna see that.

Trump honoring a child with brain cancer tonight and then leading a standing ovation for him while simultaneously eliminating all spending for child cancer research is a perfect encapsulation of MAGA morality.

mommy issues are worse than daddy issues and i’ll die on that hill

my life severely revolves around naps

Looking at a pair of jeans or shorts thinking “those are huge” and then they fit perfectly is HUMBLING

hello sharks i am asking for a normal fucking day

Fool me once i kill myself on the spot

This messy Trump-Musk breakup is truly the gayest thing about pride month

I think i’m old cause i refuse to make a private snap story, just post that shit

this week has really made me realize i’m actually the most loved person on the planet and i have the best people

POV: you just lost the sugar bowl