I’m pretty cool, but I panic a lot

Hot girls drive cars that are consistently on empty

My 88 year old dementia patient called me “diablo blanco” last night and honestly the shoe fits

Don’t even fucking start with me in the shop rite parking lot if your car has reindeer antlers and a nose

I want to make sourdough bread so badly but these bread maker cults on social media make it look so difficult

I have done quite literally nothing today and I will continue to do just that

Peace signs and finger guns will never go out of style for me

5 frozen waffles later

I called my fiancé in a panic after I felt the house shake (turns out it was an earthquake) and he said “it’s just the wind. Go get a coffee it’ll make you feel better”

My sister called me pretentious yesterday and I think that’s the sweetest thing she’s ever said about me

That’s odd, where is mine???

No matter how long I stand in the store inspecting a container of fruit, legit eyeing every single piece; I come home and 1/3 of the container has mold. Idk I’m over it. I lose every time.

I just walked into a NJ bagel shop at 8am on a Sunday and there was no line. I feel like I just won the lottery.

It’s just another manic Monday

Brb slipping into something more comfortable, like a coma

What is vegemite and am I missing out?

Full send on this airport sushi. Wish me luck.

I buy so much caviar as if I have money