How are our friends the Protheans doing?

RT if you love Varren bacon!

I have carved "I hate cops" into @SpaceScoundrel_ 's shuttle. How devious.

Hey @SpaceScoundrel_ Would you like to play a fun game?

Keeper PR knows what you did last Summer!

Apologies for being absent for a great deal of time. I still saw everything you all did...

Perhaps consuming warm flesh will keep me online... No. We havnt done that in centuries...

We have seen the famous Commander Shepard fornicate with one Ashley Williams on our home, the Citadel. Please cease from that.

No. We do not enjoy people starring at us while we work. #KeeperFactz

Caution to everyone. Late replies are a norm if trying to contact me. Do not take out your rage on my brethren.

Thank you all for your patience. My apologies for my abscence.

#KeeperFactz Keeper Feever 2180 is approaching fast! Get your tickets today! Opening for The Keeps is Cage the Keeper.

Baby dont fear the keeper.

No we were not in The Hobbit, that was giant spiders. That comment has been classified as 'racist'.

@WingmanGarrus Is it you who continuously states that my people hail from mirkwood? We are not giant spiders.

Salutations

Hello, @CCouncilPRD we have recieved a complaint about your departments claims dissmissing. Please keep it down. -Keeper PR

#KeeperFactz Our venom can impregnate 37 humanoids just by skin obsorbtion.

Hello.

AAAAHG YOUR HUMAN FINGER PRINTS CLOUD OUR SCREENS. DO. NOT. TOUCH.