Dear Women...

Grammar is a funny thing...

I want Hollywood to remake the movie Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves. Jim Parsons playing Wayne Szalinki?

@smgbourgeois have you watched babies trying lemon for the first time in slowmo? So funny!

I haven't eaten in four hours #FirstWorldProblems

@JsnJWlsn nope, sorry. Had other plans.

this guy derek has been missing since tuesday last seen in echo park. here’s a site his family put together helpfindderek.com

It sure is hard to caulk when you have the hiccups...

She called me a good hugger, I called her a good lover

@JsnJWlsn as an avid GO rider I'm ashamed it took me so long to realize 2030 was the time. I was ready to tell you it's 2014 no time machine

“Psychology: Most people aren't actually anti-social. They choose to be alone because they hate spending time with stupid people.”

@nightrider086 @roflelcopter @cheyennelipski you'll move on.

Playing @OfMonstersAndMen and my mom who doesn't like music she doesn't know actually said she likes it!

@smgbourgeois my dad does this too!

@smgbourgeois latter. I told you already.

Whoever created the line "wakey wakey eggs and baky" deserves a high five.

@JsnJWlsn (tomorrow)

@JsnJWlsn Tilly's birthday is tomorrow so that's how I know haha

My bike was stolen from the Pickering Go station. I locked it up at 9:30am and got back at 7pm. This is my bike.

Spoke w/ the police abt my bike. They said they hardly ever find bikes but cause I knew the serial# there is a better chance of finding it.