doing this with an italian beef in the chicago river

These infographics don’t work on me because my takeaway is always that 17 donuts isn’t as bad as I thought

expect a call from my attorneys

My oil painting of an Uncrustable

It’s fine I’M FINE

I so need a Beetlegoose.

girl YOU BOUGHT TWITTER

Omg Pride and Prejudice.

📚On October 1, 1984, Pizza Hut launched its ‘Book It!’ reading program

why he got that cunty little skirt on

But does it also vacuum and mop that’s what I want to know.

Mine came on two weeks ago and I had to remind myself that it’s “just because the air outside is colder” and (probably) not because “you have a nail in your tire” 🤣 It was in fact that my tire pressure dropped with the change in air temp lol.

Girl gets upset because mailman won’t commit a felony for her

We’re evolving

people being like “queer people survived Reagan” like no actually they did not? famously?

I am seeing more and more opinions bubbling up about how throwing trans people to the wolves would be a winning strategy for Democrats, and I just want to quickly say: Fuck off with that absolute dog shit.

To anyone who intends to come take away the freedom, opportunity, and dignity of Illinoisans, I would remind you that a happy warrior is still a warrior. You come for my people – you come through me.

First Michaels Stores gave us Lesbian Halloween and now they’ve returned with an encore for Lesbian Yule ✨ ❤️🧡🎄🤍🩷 ✨

just watch idiocracy the movie that’s all

Illinois is protecting reproductive rights. Illinois is protecting workers' rights. Illinois is protecting civil rights. Illinois is protecting voting rights. The days ahead will be hard but don't tell me the fight can't be won.