Anytime an old makes a snide comment about me being on my phone it makes me want to literally glue my eyeballs to my phone screen just to spite them

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page.

just found out that one of my old tumblr posts has over 26,000 notes. but also my aesthetic has apparently not changed since 2012 so can i count this as a success or ? no ?

4 those of y’all that can’t understand the existential dread that comes with fire season: murrieta.k12.ca.us/cms/lib5/CA010…

Is this how I made all my friends college???? Pls respond

tryna make plans to go somewhere with meg like...

what's the point in any of us writing songs when we know for a fact that no song will ever be as beautiful as landslide by fleetwood Mac? ???

There are so many people who believe that they would have been these radical abolitionists during the era of slavery who regularly demonstrate an inability to imagine the society they actually live in right now as anything other than what it is. It’s revealing.

my only use for facebook post college is to keep up to date with what Mask mandate wanter's fam is up to – Wendy and Vivian both killin' it always !!!obvs!!!

I downloaded tiktok and my phone just tried to autocorrect “yet” to “yeet” when do I get my zoomer membership card ????

Across the country, cities are shutting down. Trader Joe’s needs to provide workers hazard pay starting right now. Crewmembers are terrified, knowing their job is putting them on the frontlines of a global pandemic. It is not enough to receive PTO only after being proven sick.

I Don't Hate Anything Accept For Monsanto.

So far the only thing that’s made me sad about graduating is that I’m currently eating my last foreseeable megabytes spinach pesto cheddar sandwich

"Is driving this fast VEGAN?" -@Ray_GuineaPig

my mom on dc rain: I feel like I’m in The Shape of Water...I will grow gills soon...

I really just got hit in the face by an airborne plastic bag while waiting for the H2 — don’t worry everyone in the Howard university shuttle did see and laugh at me