BREAKING NEWS: “Twilight” just received a 30 minute standing ovation from me in my bedroom after watching it for the 300th time

BREAKING NEWS: Glee just received a 55 minute standing ovation from me in my living room after watching it for the 200th time

sorry my room's a mess i got ready to go out one time seven months ago

if kamala calls him a fucking idiot tonight

oh here we go again... it's october!

Really is a tough call. On one hand - every Nobel prize winning economist is adamantly stating that Harris has a significantly better economic plan But on the other hand - the dumbest people I’ve ever interacted with say Trump is a good businessman Quite the dilemma

whoever wins gets custody of joe biden

And give Louisiana back to France

sleepy joe you’ve got two months. go crazy. eliminate all student debt. legalize marijuana. make tampons and condoms free. ban cybertrucks. shit in the oval office’s air vent. kidnap barron. the world is your oyster buddy

Greatest country in the world?? Why is every woman I know crying on the way to work today???

I think I somehow deluded myself into thinking America might choose a woman over the worst man alive

Oh my God LET ME SPEEEAAAAKK

Gotta love the British press.

can i come over and do this

Yeah they gotta do it themselves now since trump fired like 90% of the national park service

going to war. (cleaning out my closet)