happy birthday Dolly Parton!! I will honor her, like I do every year, by having huge boobs and being nice

UGH can u leave me alone I'm going thru Olivia Rodrigo's breakup right now

“That used to be a Wendy’s, now it’s a STARBUCKS!” -your partner trying to blow your mind in their hometown

“Which cereal milk do you think would go better in my tea latte?” -me, being in Portland too long

I prefer to see the words "bomb cyclone" to describe burritos only thank you

As a content designer: “Do your magic!” When I was a journalist, “write up” instead of article 🤮

Nothing says tourist like a big dumb hat

My love language is letting me order for the table

If you call our plans my “mom’s night out” I’m canceling on you

It takes a village to raise a child but there aren’t any villages anymore so we’re gonna have to go with Ms Rachel

ME: Ok, so I’ll give my daughter three vegetables, one fruit, some protein for dinner ALSO ME: oh no I can’t get a salad I’ll be too full from the pasta and garlic bread

What am I most proud of? -earning a Masters -giving birth to my daughter -convincing other people to host Snackbowl since 2010

Equinox is the Amazon of gyms

Bar Supports the Sober Community by Offering $16 Non-Alcoholic Drinks: ow.ly/BURf50NEpsx

Salt & Straw is just Ben & Jerry’s with stylish packaging

I need to know what happened after 8 months

Me & JR deciding where to order takeout from

I don’t think telling me my daughter “has your cheeks!” is the compliment you think it is