Siri play “Tobey Maguire screaming at paparazzi.”

I don’t need to be rich I just wanna have enough money to give my kids for the book fair

I want nothing more than to drink beers with Alyssa in Europe.

Hello thank you. We had so much fun

Dear music venues PLEASE JUST LET ME GO SMOKE A CIGARETTE AND COME BACK IN

Waiting in line at the DMV feels so bad

Comin up on 4loko season

One of these hats but it’s says cocaine

We need Jesse white back in office.

They gonna baptize these kids in Malort now or what?? Blood of Christ? Nah that’s an old style. The bread ??? Dipped beef now.

I’m not to be messed with

How far is heaven??? I’m not religious I just love los lonely boys.

Pasta on the back of the toilet.

La Croix tall boys

BORN to dance forced to work 😩😩

I made my bitmoji a little fatter today. It was time to own up

You think if I ask they will let me perform magic tricks at an elderly home?

I love Alyssa so much every time we fight all I hear is matchbox 20. I hope she knows I love her <3