doctor at my check up asked me if i had “any feelings of depression or anxiety” and i said “don’t we all” and she said “no” lol

me holding back my toxic thoughts cause I told myself I’d work on it

I miss lockdown a lil. Something was so soothing about the stillness. Having that moment to just sit and think changed my life forever.

I’m this old

check on your friends when they cross your mind. don’t overthink it. don’t put it off for later. pick up your phone.

all dog costumes should have fake arms so the front paws are the feet. i realize this now. x.com/DannyDeraney/s…

me: “never again” also me: *does it again*

I’m officially at the age I don’t want to be around people who are not self aware. continuously putting themselves in bad positions, making bad life choices, toxic ways/lifestyles, no priorities lacking accountability etc.

My 3 yo said goodnight to all of us tonight and then in the dark I heard her little voice say, “Goodnight myself. I love you. [pause] I love you too.” Don’t let anyone take that from you, little one.

my bank blocked my card because of a security threat. it was me, buying a mattress, at 2 am. i am my own biggest threat

a wise man once said

It turns out it was staged. I've reverse Google image searched him and the guy who punched Chris Rock is a professional actor.

They just aren’t making shows like this anymore

Wanting to be funny is a disease. Why am I spending 30 minutes trying to think of a clever wifi name for my neighbors to see?