Update: The Twitter wildfire is at 44 billion acres and 0% contained.

Best advice. Ever.

The US, a “model” of democracy, gets this kind of turnout? Gerrymandering/ disenfranchising aside: 27%? (Thanks, Gen Z!) With everything that’s on the line? I can’t even.

Dubious.

Ugh.

Wait. How is everyone supposed to work from the office then? 🤔

Well. FIFA World Cup showing its cowardice. #OneLove #onelovearmband

No. Words.

Goals don't get much prettier than that first US goal.

Mexico travels well.

Viva Ochoa.

Holy smokes the Saudi/Argentina game.

Props to KURU Footwear and Seth for AMAZING customer service. As someone who's a candidate for full knee replacement (yay soccer!), I can say their product is equally impressive.

Or, you know, Bruno Fernandes. The guy who scored. Twice.

Captain America.

Who are these unAmericans emailing me during the US game?

Simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming.

Don't be gettin' half nekkid at the World Cup.

These are the same people who drive 55mph in the left land.

Ronaldo who?