Med Instagram: look at how perfect my notes are, my sexy scrubs, here’s my stethoscope shaped perfectly around my coffee Med Twitter: I only cried twice today and I’m not sure who’s or what bodily fluids are on my sleeve. I also had Taco Bell three times in the past hour.

Netflix got one more price raise before I go buy a VCR

Medicine is the worst. Patients telling you they’re afraid to die or to not let them die but you know it’s inevitable and you try so hard for them but there’s nothing you can do to stop it. I hate it.

I’ll cut open a chest, cross-clamp an aorta, and perform open cardiac massage. But I will 👏🏾 not 👏🏾 poke 👏🏾 an eyeball 👏🏾 Nope!

This lady on the plane said "vaxxed and waxed, baby, I'm ready for some action on this trip." and that should be everybody's vibe this summer.

I don’t like bacon 🤢

Me: How are you feeling? Patient: The exact same. I’m no better. Why am I no better? Me: Did you do the things I recommended? Patient: No. Me:... Patient:... Me:... Patient: This is all your fault.

PA is not a stepping stone for MD. PA is not a stepping stone for MD. PA is not a stepping stone for MD. PA is not a stepping stone for MD.

The same people who don’t fear COVID bc of a “98% survival rate”, now fear a vaccine that has a 0.00009% risk of causing blood clots. Make it make sense 🤔

I don't understand having to have BLS when you already have ACLS, like when I renew my ACLS I feel like that should just cover things

Please get vaccinated

I showed a resident how to diagnose a pneumothoraces She asked 'don't you mean a pneumothorax?' I replied 'it's pleural'

Are you even a surgical PA if you and your other APP friends haven’t talked about which of the attendings you would let operate on you if needed?

Fire up chips! 🔥⬆️

Whoa. Did the US senate really just vote to make Daylight Saving permanent…? 😳🤯

My wish for 2023 is that we stop using the "allergies" section of the chart for "medications I don't want/ don't like/ had adverse effects with." And world peace.

PSA from your friendly thoracic PA; just because a lung cancer pt has a pleural effusion does NOT mean it’s a malignant effusion. You have to run cytology. A true malignant effusion instantly makes them stage IV.