someone fix my attitude

john mayer concert is tonight and YET again i will not be there and i’m sad. 😔 sigh

the 1% of bacteria left on my hands after i use hand sanitizer

U guys are great 😭 I love you

“how’s self quarantine going?”

But y’all not ready for THAT conversation

2020 has been fucked so far but ima still take this bitch over and bring some light to the madness

Yall see me shining. U can shine on too! By being you. Just be true to you.

y’all ever just tired of having to do normal everyday things like existing? that shit do be gettin old

When you do laundry, are you bothered by the fact that all your clothes are clean except the ones you’re wearing or are you normal?

Making two geriatrics argue in front of the entire country at 9PM is diabolical

There is nothing that two men like to argue about more than their golf game.

POV: the oldest guy at your gym heading to the sauna for hours after 15 minutes on the elliptical

“It shall be called the Super Bowl and will be a huge national event played deep into the night on Sunday when everyone must go into work on Monday.” “Why not play it on Saturday?” “Nobody knows.”