IQ: “your pum pum tight oh God oh God” Me: “only one man to your good good”

Idc how long I’ve been in Canada seeing snow will disgust me every time

Shopping is therapeutic. But shopping alone feel even better

Imma be misunderstood till I die might as well have a good time

A woman on Tik Tok said, “If you’re not in my life anymore, it doesn’t mean that I think you’re a bad person. I don’t deem people good or bad. I deem people to be safe or unsafe. Aligned or misaligned. Because I’m not available for people I have to protect myself from.” Whew 🔥

acting like i did something to you when you know it was you who did something to me is some crazy ass shit

why everybody with a red iPhone is evil

Temperature goes above 5 degrees Celsius and all the sudden I remember what happiness feels like

Me on Netflix

Two students of mine were passing notes today during a quiz and y’all

After dating me for a month and telling me he’s in danger and needs money, the tinder swindler would’ve been shocked when I said “that’s crazy, what you gonna do?”

people always ask girls w long nails how they wipe, but last time i checked u not wiping with ur nails 😵‍💫

she probably thought that was part of the experience LMFAOOO

oat milk did to almond milk what zoom did to skype

The message this 4/20

y’all too grown to think intimacy is JUST sex.

If I send “👩🏼👩🏼” that means I am sooo freakkinnnnn pissseedddd